Harold and the Will

Myron was just kind of this old podger that didn't really treat Harold right, but that's just the way it was. Nobody ever said anything about it. I mean, he didn't hit him or anything, he just...you know. He was always the boss. Myron was in charge.


We got along with him great; everybody did. He was a great guy. Yes, you knew he never treated Harold right, not like he should. But no, Myron was a great guy. He had a funny, high-pitched laugh that would start down in his throat. He was short and stout, always wore bib-overalls and everything.

Everybody was kind of pissed off that he didn't do a will and didn't leave anything. 'Cause they just expected.

But maybe he just didn't know if Harold should get everything. I don’t know, they said that Myron had a girlfriend at one time, maybe he was still hoping to find a woman at 75 years old. I wouldn't think he probably did that on purpose, he probably just didn't think about that. I mean who knows, maybe he did write out a will and stored it someplace else.

I'm not sure what kind of money Harold would've gotten [while farming with Myron] other than what was in Myron's bank account. He was just sort of gettin' along. I know there was a time when they said Myron woke up at night and he found Harold walking all by himself. And he was just upset because he didn't have anything other than what Myron gave him. Where would Harold get his money? He did some carpentry work...but other than that it was always because of Myron.

But then, of course, when [Harold's] brothers died--Andrew and Howard--they were the ones who had all the antiques. As soon as that was all over, Harold went out and bought himself a little tractor, Kubota tractor, Pop always laughed about that: a Japanese tractor with a front-end loader on it.  If [his brothers' money is] invested the right way, he probably has a couple hundred thousand.  

But I think Harold was very happy when he had the horses. He would work them out there in the field, and he was very good at it, he was patient with them. He had a skill that most people didn't have. He was probably more gentle with them than what Myron would have been. 

You just think of Harold as more of a gentle man than Myron was.  Maybe not.  That's just the way I see it.

After Your Mom Went to Bed: an interview by Michael Doscher's daughters

Listen. When you guys weren't hardly even here yet, I had a friend named George and he lived in Astoria, where we lived, close by, and I was really good friends with him.

And he came over?

And out of the blue he called me last week, and we're really excited to see each other tomorrow. After we go to the Reptile Show, we're going to go to his house on Long Island, not too far, and we're going to see him.

He doesn't have any kids, right?

He has a twelve year-old son, but don't panic.

Pssh.

We've already decided you're going to marry each other.

Pause.

No, his daughter's, like, twenty-three. But George and I, on the weekends, we would play chess after your mom went to bed, all the way up til 3 AM.

Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen o'clock.

Giggles. Coughs.

That's six hours.

I know, can you imagine how many games we played?

You played, like, ten million thousand.








So I was sitting there, like usual, we're talking back and forth like--not really nice--just like, not cursing but like, "Oh yeah," you know. And in comes your mom.

Pause.

Laughing.

That is a pointy baby!

This is Orion's ears.

Pause.

She's like, "Mike, I think we have to go to the hospital."

Did you, like, were you any good?

No, I've never been any good.

I heard you stunk.

You heard I stunk? From who?

With, like, your 800 average or something.

Who said this?

I don't know.

I'm better than whoever said this, let's put it that way.

Well, Bobby Fischer.

Bobby Fischer died this year.

Bobby Fischer was the best chess player that ever lived.

Whoever's sleeping here has to go to bed, whoever's not is going.

I have to go to bed?

Actually--

Interruptive giggling.

That's not funny, whose sock is that?

That's my sock! You took it off my foot.

It's not your own sock? Have the decency to use your own sock. It's ten o'clock, if you get there, you won't even be asleep til midnight. Come on, I have to take people to church, and we have a big day tomorrow. We get to see my friend George, and his family, he's making dinner for us.

Is he the one you were talking about before?

Yeah, the one I was playing with when Joan came in pregnant at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Did you actually take her to the hospital, and did she actually give birth?

And then, that's how we got Orion.

Did you actually put her in a bunk when she was one year-old?

Pause.

Seven months. Do we have to talk about that now?

Sorry, I was just asking.

I didn't know anything about parenting. It's been a long, painful journey.

Is George the same age as you?

No, he's much older, ten years older.

Pause.

Well, we should get going.

You guys can go do what you're gonna do. As usual, sorry about the stories.

See you tomorrow, bright eyed, bushy tailed.

Scuffing Sneakers and Automatic Weapons: East Germany in the '60s

An Interview with Conrad Milster

"Yeah, I've seen a lot of history: some good, some bad.

"When [my wife and I] went in [to East Germany] in '69, the military approach was frightening in a sense. When you get to the outskirts of Berlin, the train pulls on a side track and the soldiers go through it. I could just see from the compartment we were in: soldiers poke rods into the coal pile to see if anyone's in the coal pile, they lift up the hatch to see if anyone's in the water tank. They come through every car, look at all the paper work. One guy opens up all the little access compartments: the fans, blowers. They actually--and I almost laughed and I thought: 'Wait a minute, no, this is serious'-- they make you lift your feet up and look under the seat. And these guys have automatic weapons. Again, we're not talking police, we're talking military. Somebody walks along each side of the train with a dog, and they sniff underneath the cars to see if somebody is trying to hide and get out by hiding underneath the cars.

"Uncle Carl told us again, before the wall, East Berliners were not allowed to buy in the West, but they did. Even though the money was 4:1, they had to pay four times as much, but they couldn't get anything in the East, so they still went to the West. If you bought a new pair of shoes, the shoemaker let you out into his yard in the back so that you could scuff the shoes up. If you bought something like butter, as soon as you paid with East German money, the butter was flattened into a package so it could be slipped into a side pocket so you didn't have to carry it as a package.

"It almost became a joke to the Berliners, the way they were living. When I was there the last time, after the wall had come down, I looked at the crosses of the people who'd been killed trying to get out. It still affects me, because I think about a system that's so horrible that people are willing to risk their lives to get away.


"And I'm going to shoot my own political philosophy at this point. One of the things that I get upset about is a lot of the political things that are happening today, a lot of the criticism today--people don't know history, and don't realize that something like this happened. Wait a minute, you gave in back then and you lost. They gave in to Stalin and they lost half of Europe for fifty years. You know, do we give in to Iraq and lose the far East to the extremists? In other words, history in a sense keeps repeating, so you have to go back and say, 'Wait a minute, there were similar situations.' Again, Korea was a good example. If we had not gone into Korea, Korea would be an entire Semi-Communist land. Now, I say Semi-Communist because Communism is becoming very diluted today, too, compared to the Stalin Communism of fifty years ago. It was a very hard-line political philosophy. Today, it's sort of like Cuban Communism: it's half Communism, half not Communism. Again, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, I have a suspicion we came this close to war with Russia, and by then we had atomic weapons, so there were reasons for a lot of these things that were done and a lot of the decisions that were made.

"And, you know, now it's all history, but at the time this was all very real. Very real."

The Professor Who Smokes His Pipe

Q: May I take your photograph?



A: Of course. It's part of the job description. If you don't want your photo taken, don't stand in front of a lens.

Chris of Harrisburg, aged seven

First I have to get my stuff on to do it, so I actually look like a grown up person. I’m wearing sneakers on, first I have to tie my shoes.

Alright man, we all ready with our adult shoes on?
Wait a minute, I have to double knot this one.

You doing your Superman pose?
(Holds Superman pose.)

What’s your favorite breakfast food?
(Shifty eyes and a tight smile.) This is kind of hard. (Pause.) Cereal!


What kind of cereal?
Trix. (Big smile, Superman pose.) That helps me trick people.

Who’s your best friend?
You guys.

Isn’t it someone who you’ve known longer?
I know someone who I’ve known since I was a baby—my cousin Ethan. He’s just like my cousin, my best cousin, because he doesn't do rotten stuff like Bobby.

What kind of rotten stuff does Bobby do?
He says bad words, he does stupid stuff…and, hmm...For example, he says like, “Oh, yeah baby,” while shaking hips.

So he’s just weird?
Yeah, very weird. The weirdest person I ever knew.

How old is he?
Bob? Twelve.

Tell me about Dusty.
He’s a rotten egg and he’s spoiled.

Why do you say that?
He jumps on people, he ripped my Pap’s hole in his shirt, that’s why my Pap always wears his bad clothes here 'cause Dusty’s going to attack him like a vicious man-eater thing.

Do you like Dusty?
Yes.

Even though he’s a rotten egg?
Yes. He’s not rotten, just spoiled. (Resumes Superman pose).

Do you like having a sister?
Yeah, except you said in church, we attack each other like we’re wolves. (Runs around flapping arms and falls on ground. Laughs.) Ta-da! And today, I put cucumbers on my eyes.

What do you think of John Deere?
Weird. You can take a picture of it right behind you. 'Cause every single thing of John Deere is right behind you. Toys, lamps, games, puzzles, a John Deere hat, John Deere clock, John Deere books. A lot of things about John Deere, a John Deere picture again. He has more tractors, he has like 132 or something.

We’re going to play word association now.
What’s that? I’m going to take my shoes off first because they sort of stink. (Spinning) The cap’n. (Makes dizzy noises, knocks against wall and falls over, resumes Superman pose. Puts sock on nose.)

Is that your sock?
Uh huh, yeah. (Laughing.) That smells bad.

To play Word Association, I'll say a word and you say whatever comes into your head first. Alright? Blue.
Purple.

Dog?
Cat.

Mountain?
P...p...ocean.

Toilet?
Barf.

Tongue?
Toilet paper.

Big toe?
My grandmother’s big toe.

Jahlil?
Ethan.

Olivia?
Jordan.

Dance?
Fart. (Ballet pose, then flexes his biceps.)

Music?
Dancing. (Ballet.)

Movie?
Action.

Lutheran?
God.

Jesus?
Big toe.

Mom?
Dad.

Fingernail?
Biting.

Bug vacuum?
Bee.

City?
Mouthroy.

Is that an actual word or did you just make it up?
I don’t know, just put “mega fart” if you want to. Smell the wrath of my stinky feet!

So, you showed me your pictures earlier, your drawings and paintings from kindergarten. What’s your favorite one?
I’m not sure.

If you had to show one to the whole world to judge your artisitic ability, which one would you chose?
Well, it’s hard to say, but Disco Yoda! (Starts discoing.)

How did you get into drawing superheros?
For my nightmares.

For your what?
For my nightmares that I’m going to have tonight.

What do you mean by that?
All my drawings give me nightmares, I mean the stuff I draw is my nightmares. I draw my nightmares. Now I know what kind of nightmare, that’s how I know what kind of nightmare I‘m going to have tonight.

So you’re going to dream about Disco Yoda tonight?
Yeah, and I’m going to dream about this guy.


Who is that guy?
Big Eye. 'Cause he has one little eye and one big eye.

I wish he could make the Rock-On sign.

A Morning in the Engine Room

With Conrad Milster, Pratt Institute's Chief Engineer


His Antique Desk

"I came here in '58. So, you know, within the first ten years, that's still what I would call the old Pratt administration, people had been here for twenty, thirty years. When I came, at Pratt a ten-year person was considered a newcomer. Pretty much everybody who was here at that time was here almost for a lifetime. But this desk was being thrown out in the engineering building and I saw the porter over there one morning, he had the top of the desk and he was just taking it off the elevator. I said, 'Frank, where're you going with that?'

'Oh,' he says, 'We're throwing it out.'
I said, 'What?'

'Yeah, they got a new desk upstairs.'
'No you're not.' So that immediately came over here and replaced the modern desk that was here."

•

Death of the Engineering School

"One of the problems that we've had over the years has been that after, call it the 'old line management,' who had been here forever and ever, after they left…we had a lot of resumé fillers in various levels of management, both in the administration and in the faculty. This is one of the things that helped kill the engineering school, every three years they'd have a new dean. This went on for a while at the institute on all the different levels, and one of the problems with that is: 'I'm not really interested in spending my life at Pratt, I need another page for my resume. So Pratt's a nice entry-level position and you've hired me, therefore you're telling me that everything my predecessor has done is wrong, and you're giving me a mandate to change and bring in all my fresh new ideas.' Well if this keeps happening, chaos ensues, which in the end it did."

•

Former Pratt President Henry Saltzman & the Strike of 1972

"It was just general, everything that he was doing seemed to go against what everybody felt. December 8th of '71, that was the first faculty…in other words, this didn't just happen overnight, it was building up. So that was the first sign of 'revolution'--if you want to call it that--or distress. And it just kept getting worse and worse after that, and in the spring just before the term ended, everybody just walked out. It was one of those spontaneous things, all of a sudden Ryerson street was full of people.
"The school just shut down. It became a bit of a sticky question, although they resolved it, I don't know how it was because I'm not involved. But the question was: how do you grade students if they haven't had final exams?"

•

Pratt's Political Inactivity

"As a general rule, Pratt has been a fairly nonpolitical school compared to your typical liberal arts college. Because most of you coming here are coming here for a very specific reason. You're not just coming here to stay out of the work force for 4 more years and have mummy and daddy carry you. So while everybody had opinions about Vietnam and all the other things, civil rights and all this, it was never to the point where you had these major demonstrations where everybody flooded the mall and waved picket signs. People were too busy going to class and getting their grades.
"I wouldn't say it's apathy, I'd say it's priorities. People's priorities have always been more concerned with getting through Pratt than, "Yeah, okay, you know maybe I'll go over Saturday and join a march or something like that." But on the campus itself there were minor things, but never the major activities that you had at Columbia, say, or CCNY."

•

A Telephone Call

"Engine Room. Yeah, good morning. Where are the fumes? You mean, in…we are. There's nothing that we have that would go up that far. We'll take a walk over and see but there's no chemicals, there's no liquids. Fourth floor. Fourth floor. Will do."